A Little Like Andy

by Marsha Ward

I'm feeling a bit fractious today, with all the little glitches in my life that I'm having to endure, so here's a mini-essay a la Andy Rooney of 60 Minutes.

During the cold weather this winter, my mind wandered over a lot of options for keeping warm. At one point, I determined that if I kept my core temperature warm, maybe my skin wouldn't think it was so cold. I mulled over drinks of the warm-to-hot variety, since one can only ingest so much soup.

I don't drink coffee--never have--so that's out.

Hot chocolate is nice, but it has its limitations. Too much of it will send me packing into a small room of my home for long spells of time, where I won't be very productive.

Hot apple cider is okay if it's fresh, but the dried, packaged version has too many chemicals for my taste.

I settled on Postum, a roasted grain beverage from my childhood. It comes in two varieties: regular, and coffee flavor. Like I said, I don't drink coffee, so I set about looking for the regular stuff in my local grocery stores.

I looked and looked. In vain, it seems. Needing something, I bought Pero, which is made from barley, but I'd never tried it before. It's not quite the same flavor as Postum.

Since I don't like to be a quitter, the next time I was in town, I looked in another store, but they didn't even have Pero. I was with a friend, and when I was trundling my groceries out to the car, I mentioned my search.

"Oh, they don't make it anymore," she said.

"What?" I rejoined. "They don't make Postum?"

"I even called Kraft Foods, and no, they don't make it." My friend looked as downcast as I felt. "I have one last jar, and I'm nursing it along."

This is dreadful, folks. Postum has been on the market since 1895! When I moved, a friend helped me, and she threw out my jars of Postum, telling me I could buy more. Well, I can't. And that just stinks! I'm unhappy, Kraft Foods.

Depression vs. Hope

by Marsha Ward

Creative people seem to have a gene that predestines them to live on the edge of madness, teetering back and forth between darkness and light. Many authors, musicians, artists have wild mood swings or battle the impending doom of depression. In some extreme cases, they lose the war, and we are left to mourn for them.

I've been dealing with depression lately. It's not fun, and sometimes I just want to drag myself into a hole and pull it closed behind me, shutting out the world. These feelings are crippling to an author, both to the mind, the spirit, and the body. They can be triggered by--among other things--events, powerful emotions, electrical spikes in the brain, or imbalance in brain chemistry.

The trick is recognizing the onset of the condition. I'm probably a little late in that recognition, but I hope not too late to prevent a full-blown depressive period. I need to get past this, because it's very difficult to write or even participate in life when I'm in such a hole.

Folks who have never experienced depression or mood swings have no understanding of these conditions. They tend to think depression is just a case of the blues that can be turned around with a fun outing, thinking positive thoughts, scripture reading, or fervent prayer. While I don't discount the positive effects of such actions, sometimes only medical intervention and medication will help. We don't expect a type 1 diabetic to forgo daily insulin. Medical conditions that result in depression also need medication, either for the long term, or for shorter periods.

God loves his creative children. He has given them immense powers of expression in a variety of media. He also holds out hope, though prayer, meditation, scripture study, priesthood power, the Gospel, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ. These vital elements have been available to me to help me keep the darkness at bay, and I am using them. I'm also going to visit my doctor.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, recently gave a General Conference talk called "The Infinite Power of Hope." As I read and pondered it, and participated in a recent Relief Society lesson that was derived from it, I felt the stirrings of greater hope.

I've never doubted that God loves me and has great blessings in store for me, but external pressures, spreading myself thin, and taking on too many duties and responsibilities have almost tipped me over the edge into darkness. I'll always have to guard against that, but for now, I have hope to get me through until the darkness fades and I once again walk in the sunshine.

Life

by Marsha Ward

Do you ever get the feeling that you're drowning in all life has brought to you?

That's how I feel today. I thought last week was bad, when a dear friend died. I thought yesterday was bad, when I got a rejection on a major piece of writing. Then today's news happened, out of the blue with a phone call, and I have some things to really cry about.

Sometimes I wish I were a turtle and could pull my head in and ignore the world. That's not gonna happen, though. I've got to buck up and muddle through everything. Wish me luck!

And Now, For Something Mundane

by Marsha Ward

Robyn has thrilled you with tales of dust and four-wheeling and the great outdoors. I'm going for something a bit closer to home: bedding.

I love the crisp, clean smell of freshly laundered sheets on a bed. I don't particularly like the physical struggle to put them on, but the results is always satisfying.

This summer I decided to splurge on new sheets. I didn't buy the most expensive ones, but got some of the "better" class: coral and green fitted sheets and pillow cases, and white flats. New pillows, too, to replace the flattened ones that made my neck ache.

After I attended a writer's retreat where I took the white flats as bedding, I decided to keep them in a bag with a pillow, and here's why. I frequently crash at a friend's house in the Valley, and if I bring my own bedding, I won't make extra work for her. She is so gracious as it is, that I don't want to add to her burdens, especially as she recovers from a knee injury.

That left me with two fitted sheets and no tops. But lo and behold! I already had a spiffy print set with the colors coral and green. I put on the coral bottom and used the print top, and they look quite nice together. I'm sure I'll find other top sheets as I go so the numbers match. But in my household, one set on the bed and one in the closet is probably more than sufficient. Except when I want the flannels for winter!

My (Un)Eventful Life

by Marsha Ward

Sometimes I think I lead a rather boring life. While friends of mine travel to exotic locales to do research for their next novel, I sit home in the midst of a forest of pines and oaks, dinking around on my computer and paying for home repairs.

Then I reflect, and find that my life isn't so boring after all. My forest is very lovely, and I am the envy of many people because I can live here the year around.

I've been to several writers' gatherings this year:

• ANWA's Writers Conference in March
• LDStorymakers' Writers Conference in March
• Western Writers of America's Convention in June
• ANWA's Arizona Retreat in July

I attended my grandson's baptism and a family party last month.

Sadly, I've traveled to several funerals this year.

I get to meet wonderful writers to interview on my blog, Writer in the Pines.

I can write novels that touch readers' hearts.

I have friends in many places, including close to home and far away.

I have a family that loves me.

I get to give service to many of them, and to several worthy organizations.

I have books to read, music to listen to, and movies to watch.

Okay, not a boring life after all.

A heads-up on a new e-mail scam

by Marsha Ward

Feeling guilty about not posting last week, especially since no one else but Marcia did, I'm pre-dating this post. Yes, it looks like somehow it didn't come up when it should have, but I used a new Blogger tool to fool everyone. Well, not now. I've spilled the beans. I found a timely warning from Data Doctors in my email that I wanted to share:

Very few e-mail scams get past the seasoned user, but I almost fell for a very cleverly crafted message that came in this week. Tis the season to be flying, so anything that looks like an airline confirmation gets my attention (especially since others can book a flight for me on occasion). Here is what came in that almost fooled me enough to almost get me to open the attachment:

Thank you for using our new service "Buy airplane ticket Online" on our website.
Your account has been created:

Your login: Custfeedback
Your password: passNUX8

Your credit card has been charged for $406.44.We would like to remind you that whenever you order tickets on our website you get a discount of 10%!
Attached to this message is the purchase Invoice and the flight ticket.
To use your ticket, simply print it on a color printer, and you are set to take off for the journey!

Kind regards,
Ted Hensley
Frontier Airlines

======================================================

The attachment was listed as: E-ticket_N7399294.zip

Because I don't often fly on Frontier and wasn't familiar with their e-ticket process (and wasn't paying attention), I opened the zip file which had the following file in the extraction list:
E-ticket_N7399294_and_Invoice_for_N73992943442.exe

Nothing that anyone sends you should ever be an "exe" file as they are executable files (a program that will run some form of code, in this case, malicious).

This was one of the more clever attempts at infecting through e-mail that I have seen in a while and wanted to make sure everyone keeps their "eye of suspicion" out during the summer flying season!

Lest We Forget

by Marsha Ward

Last Saturday I went into town with a friend and visited "The Wall".

"The Wall" is an 80% scale replica of the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, DC – “The Wall” – is 370 feet long and stands eight feet tall at the apex. The Tribute Wall contains the names of all 58,219 Unites States service men and women killed or listed as missing in action during the Vietnam War. This is the first time I had visited such an exhibit. Apparently there are several traveling Walls, sponsored by various groups. This one came through the American Veterans Traveling Tribute & Traveling Wall Foundation.

I didn't know what to expect, or how I would react. No family members had died in Vietnam, although my husband served there before we met and married. I knew of one classmate from high school who had served there and died. I'm sure there were several more, but the only name I could recall was that of Joe Lyons.

I didn't know Joe well; he was just one of the many good-looking guys at my high school. I don't recall having any classes together, but I did know who he was. He had a cute blonde girlfriend, and they married during their senior year. I don't know if they had children. He joined the Marines, and began a tour of duty in Vietnam on January of 1968. On June 5, 1968, he was killed by small arms fire in Thua Thien Province. I didn't know about his funeral, or I might have gone.

This is the first stanza of the poem "White Gloves," by Mary Anne Russell. Her mother's reaction describes very much what happened to me once I received a printout of the location of Joe's name:

Mother paged through the names,
In the book of names
And then, businesslike
Read aloud;
“Robert S. Bagnall,
Bloomfield, Connecticut.”
And I read too, but silently,
Remembering
High school basketball
And yearbook photos.
“January, 1968 –
Date of Casualty,” it said.
Impersonal words for death.
“Row 34E,” she said
And stiffened.
“Line 40,” she said, and turned away
As it struck.
“I will not cry,” I thought,
Remembering
A boy I hardly knew,
We all admired
Healthy, handsome, easygoing,
Clean cut.
His hands in such white gloves, folded.

My throat closed and tears welled up. It's been forty years, and I still wept for a classmate I only knew in passing. Freedom is not free, and my acquaintance Joe paid the price of it a long time ago in a far-away country.

Let's not forget him and the countless others who defend our freedoms around the world.