Fashion Disaster

I love the magazine Real Simple. Just reading it makes me feel like I’m living a more streamlined, organized life. The fact that I have to search for my copy because it’s buried under a pile of laundry/junk mail/CDs is neither here nor there.

Every month, the magazine poses a question to readers and includes select answers in the “Your Words,” column. One or two months ago the question was something akin to, “What was your biggest fashion disaster?” I laughed as I read the various responses and made a list in my mind of a few of my own fashion disasters. I’ve listed them below in order of most to least traumatizing.

The Swimsuit Debacle. When I was about 14 I wore a brand new swimsuit to a waterslide park. The slides were kind of old and were giving me and my friends scratches all over our backs. I didn’t think to connect that if the slides were giving me scratches on my back they might also be—yes, that’s right my friends—tearing a hole right in the rear of my swimsuit. I have no idea how long I walked around like that and only found out when my friend was walking behind me and saw my predicament. I have worn board shorts over my swimsuits ever since.

My Electric Purple Fanny Pack. I thought I looked oh-so-cool on my school trip to Great America with my leggings, layered t-shirts, and purple fanny pack. I did not. And I have the pictures to prove it.

Senior Prom. I used to look at old prom dresses and think I would never wear something that would look so silly years down the road. Well, I was wrong. During the year of my prom, the princess look was in. I had my mom sew me a very long, very full dress and, thinking I was so clever, made it glittery by covering it in fabric glue and sprinkling on tons of craft glitter. The night of prom I left a trail everywhere I went— like Pigpen, only my dust was a little more sparkly. My date had to vacuum his Mom’s car the day after the dance because of the trail I left.

So tell me, what are your biggest fashion disasters? It would be fun to hear.